Tag Archives: learning

Heavy Hearted

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Send Me An Angel
– Alicia Keys

Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong anywhere
It’s gonna take so long for me to get to somewhere

Sometimes I feel so heavy hearted
But I can’t explain cause I’m so guarded
But that’s a lonely road to travel
And a heavy load to bear

And it’s a long, long way to heaven
But I gotta get there…
Can you send an angel?
Can you send an angel?

Cause I don’t wanna feel
Like a dove with no wings
And I don’t wanna know
What a heart of stone sings

But that’s a lonely road to travel
And a heavy load to bear
And it’s a long, long way to heaven
But I gotta get there

Can you send an angel?
Can you send me an angel?
Please send me an angel
Can you send me an angel?

21 Things I Love About My Twin, Bennett Dunham

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21 Things I Love About My Twin, Bennett Dunham

21. I love the fact you’re my twin. I know I deny it everywhere I go and I still claim to this day that you are adopted, but I love that we are twins.

20. I love how detailed oriented you can be. That is one thing we seriously have in common. When it comes to your things/room, your hobbies, your passion you are very organized. I really noticed this yesterday when I saw a few sticky notes on your compute desk that had To Do Lists written on them. We be ballin with our sticky notes and dry erase boards of to do lists. : )

19. I love how you hate wrinkles on clothes. You, mom, Bryan, and maybe Mark are like the only ones in our family who obsess over ironing. #IroningClubMembers

18. I love that you and I both share a love for music. Ok, ok, ok….not just a love, but rather an obsessive compulsive, stalker like relationship love for music. Songs that remind me of you: Where Is The Love by Black Eyed Peas, One Week by The Barenaked Ladies, Po Folks by Nappy Roots, Good Day by Nappy Roots, Back At One by Brian McKnight, Mountain Dew by KJ-52, The Show Goes On by Lupe Fiasco, Get Like Me by David Banner, Will You Be There by Michael Jackson, and like a bazillion more. 🙂

17. I love that since we are twins we grew up listening to all the same stuff. Stuff our siblings and parents listened to. Like Leah and her “I like big butts and I cannot lie!” and Dave Matthews Band, Bryan and his MXPX, BeanBag, and Creed, Laura and her Rascal Flatts, Anthony Hamilton, Lauryn Hill, Will Smith, and Simple Plan, Dad and his Jazz, Worship Music, and interesting “Jesus Music”, and mom and her worship music and Dean Martin. I love that we both have the widest music genre love.

16. I love that face you make when you think I am nucking futs! The one where you are just about to burst out in a serious case of the giggles, but are still pondering what I just said or did. It is hilarious! I love it! : )

15. I love how you shave your neck more frequently than I shave my legs. Scary thought I know. But for reals man, your personal hygiene is INCREDIBLE! Fit for a king!

 14. One of my favorite memories is when we ran away in 5th grade. We only made it like 6 blocks from the house, but I got scared of a GIANT, FEROCIOUS, MAN EATING SPIDER! And you were still willing to come back home with me cause I was so scared. Then when we got home and we got grounded to our rooms we made up a secret wall tapping language and we talked through the walls and we shared out Altoids with each other cause mom and dad starved us at dinner time. And then when it was time for spankings we totally put on all of our undies so the spanking wouldn’t hurt as bad. And yeah we definitely got away with it! BALLIN!!!!! BEST MEMORIES EVER!!!!

13. I love how we were the only 2 in the family to stick up for Shadow. I miss that chubby, long black hair, cute as a button cat. May he rest in peace. #bestfamilypets

12. I love your head bobbing. Ever since you heard your very first music note you have been bobbing your head. It goes to show you have music in your soul, music is apart of your DNA, music is you and you are music. It is amazing B! I seriously don’t know many people in this world who loves music and everything about music and that comes with music (lyrics, beats, instruments, artists, the music biz, the inspirations, the consistency, the hard work, the sacrifice, etc.). When you bob your head when you have head phones on, when there is music playing out loud, and even when there is no music playing you still bob your head cause music is in your head, heart, and body. You think, breathe, eat, and live music. I see it in you every stinkin day! Never stop loving it the way you do. No one else in this world loves music, the art of music, the dedication of music, the healing power of music like you do.

11. I love you and your many hairstyles through out the years. You and you hair! Oh the stories I could tell about you and your hair.

10. I love the fact that people say we look SOOOO MUCH a like and then we both have the same response…. “psssshhh…whatever! We look nothing a like!!!!” but secretly we know that we are actually the best looking people around! Man…PHEW WEEE……we are SMOKIN HOTT BABES! Noone can touch our twin beauty. #ballin

9. I love your ability to find trashed/thrown out things and take them in and clean them up and make them work and look like brand new!  i.e. when you took on that tv or whatever from Ashley Campbell in like 7th or 8th grade and you fixed it right up and made it work. All the laptops you have found that were trashed and you fixed them right up. The list could go on and on.

8. I love that you get excited about anything and everything. We are also alike in this way. We get inspired to do something, make something, go somewhere, change something and we just obsess all over it until we either accomplish it or it just doesn’t work out. We give all we got to the things, the people, and the talents we love. You however, have much more passion than I am. Man you get excited and that passion infects everyone else around and before you know it you have everyone and their mama rooting for you. #YouAreALeaderNotAFollower

7. I love the memory of you, Katie Kynion, and me sitting in the family room at the spring hill house back in like summer of 2008. We were talking about some people and then you went off in this tangent/impersonation of a NBA basketball player who was parapalegic and like a whole bunch of other things. Like seriously that moment was probably one of the funniest things you have ever done. I so wish I got that on camera and I’m sure Kate would agree. 🙂 lol

6.  I love that when we made the transition from home school to public school in 7th grade you didn’t forget about me. You introduced me to all the new friends you made which in turn helped me make new friends. I was way WAY way shy back then,  but you weren’t and you helped me make friend in 7th grade. Thank you for that.

5. I love how you and Ainsley have an on going count of who has eaten green cabbage with me. Hahahaha

4. I love how we have learned to mostly get along with each other. I mean we still argue randomly, but I am no longer throwing knives at you and you are no longer blowing needle darts at me with your blow dart gun. #goodtimes #goodtimes

3. I love how we can actually tell what each other is thinking sometimes. Its weird, I know. It’s like we have ESP because we are twins or something. Hehehe….but yeah we get each other pretty darn well, whether we like it or not. Most of the times you understand me the best and most of times I understand you the best. We are not just bro and sis we are friends, best friends whether we admit it in public or not.

2. I love how growing up you never got mad at me for giving you nicknames that had to do with terrorists. : ) Benito! Binladen!

 

1. The greatest thing I love about you is you. I love how you never give up. I love how you love with out expecting anything in return. I love you accept people with no judgment. I love your voice (you need to sing more!)! I love you style, your swag, your funky freshness! I love you, Bennett William Dunham, the best twin brother a sister could as for. I love how a lot of the times I am so mad at you I just want to punch you in the rocks, but somehow you make me laugh and so I am laughing to hard to be mad. I love you care about me. I love how you know what make me laugh. I love how you lean on me and you let me lean on you in hard or sad times. I love you a lot. Happy birthday Bennett! Now let’s party it up! Here is to 21 more years and more!!!!!!! ❤

 

H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

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My life, thus far, has unquestionably panned out to be entirely different than I ever expected it to be.

Man oh man, when I was just 12 years old, quickly approaching my 13 birthday, I would think about how great being a teenager would be, how much fun it would be to grow up, and how awesome it would be make new friends. Well, I am now 20 years old, quickly approaching my 21st birthday, and life has definitely been fun, filled with new friends, and teenagehood was actually not to horrible. Of course there were the unexpected bumps and bruises that came along the way. Yeah, people expect their life to be a certain way and to go along a precise path, but the bumps and bruises we get traveling down those paths are rarely expected. It is inevitable that we all have unexpected good and/or bad things show up in the middle of our paths, it’s just life.

Honestly, I have no idea what I am continuing to write about. I started writing about something that was on my mind and as I continued to write I think I switched gears and started writing to make me look good and attract readers or whatever. Pssh….NO BRIELLE! NO BRIELLE! I am glad I am catching my self. I am glad I writing down what I am thinking through my head. This has always been my problem, thinking ALL THE STINKIN TIME but never talking about it whether with my self or with someone else. I have seriously bottled up so much stuff- good stuff, bad stuff, and just stuff that I have no idea if it’s good or bad.

So here I am confusing the H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS of whoever is reading this. But you know I am ok with that. I am not here to impress anyone. I am here to just get things off my chest, my heart, my head, and my life. So I guess welcome to my pretty screwy, confusing, nonsense of a blog. J But as far as what I was talking about above I am sure I will kick back into talking about that someday, but just not today. J I will leave you with a quote that kind of links what I was originally talking about and what I finished with.

“I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be, but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.”  – aysayako || tumblr

 

Scratching…

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Well, 2011 has seemed to settle in quickly, it is already March and spring is in the air. I am starting to roll the windows down on my drives to and from work. My feet are breathing easier in my choice of airy flats and flip flops instead of my winter loafers. And excitement, adventure, and the sense of new beginnings are starting to pump through my veins again. There is something about winter that just bogs me down and makes me feel blah….It has definitely been a rough winter for me. Then again the past year and half have been quite the intense time.

Pause for a moment….let me say this….

I am not here to complain about my life in any way, but rather just to put my experiences, feelings, emotions, thoughts, and everything else on the table. I am in no way saying that any of what I write is right or wrong, true or false, proper or improper, necessary or unnecessary. I am just putting them on the table because what I am feeling, whether its correct or incorrect, is how I felt at the time, its how I reacted at the time, it’s the real thoughts that crossed my mind at the time, it is my perception of the experience I went through. So I am just here to be honest. Not really for you all, but more for myself. I have bottled up so much of my life, whether that is good or bad I have not a clue. So with all that being said I am sorry if I offend any one, if I confuse any of you, if I hurt any of you, if I do anything to any of you due to this blog. I am just here writing to figure things out. If you have a dilemma with a post or my entire blog, talk to me about it and if you can’t do that then just don’t read my blog…simple as that. : )

…now back to what I was originally saying.

The past year and a half has been intense, to say the least. I have lost a lot of people, things, places, etc. I have realized I have no idea how I tick, how I function, what I love, what I need, what I want, who I need, and really who I am. I have just scratched the surface in figuring me out. I have learned a few of things about my self…. 1. I want to move away.   2. I love trying new foods, so boo yeah to everyone who thought I was overly picky! Except I still hate broccoli. 3. I am horrible at letting go of people, places, things etc. 4. I am a Belieber!!! Woot Woot for Justin Bieber! 5. I have a ton of resentment; I will go into that in another post. So yeah….scratching….scratching….eventually I will start digging….and eventually I will start figuring out the simplest of things to the most complicated of things.